Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Ghosts of Christmas Past.

Being that this is my first Christmas on my own, I couldn’t help but sift through old pictures from Christmases past. To my family & friends out in California (and abroad): I love you all and hope that you all have an amazing Christmas! Wishing I could be with you all on my most favorite holiday of the year, but I’m sending love and positive thoughts your way.

Check out some of these pictures from the last few Christmases:

Prepping Christmas dinner with Nana, 2006

Mimi’s 1st Christmas with us — one of our Christmas gifts to Nana.
The reindeer ears didn’t stay on for very long, but it was a cute idea! 2006.

Chris & I at Tara and Greg’s on Christmas Eve, 2007.
Lots of wine & seven fishes. Mmmm.

With Nanu & Nana, 2007, when the whole family was still together <3.

Only two years ago, but Alyssa was so tiny!

Mac & I, Christmas 2008 at the McDonald house!

Mom & Dad, Christmas 2008.

I always have such amazing memories from Christmas and although I don’t get to be with my family, I did get a special surprise  in the form of an early morning Skype session with the fam and with Chris — definitely a good way to start off Christmas day! I’m having some folks over for Christmas breakfast/brunch and coffee before we go out and explore the quiet streets of London (something that can only happen once a year!)

Here’s a song/video that always puts me a good Christmas mood; definitely a classic!

To everyone reading:

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

To my grandpa, who’s no longer with us — wish you could be here, but you’ll always be here in spirit. Inhobbok hafna.

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Family Fun on the Island!

I have so much to catch up on, but I thought a post about the fun family gatherings we’ve experienced thus far would make for a good filler for family keeping up with my homeland hoorah! Too much family fun in four short days; the sadness about leaving tomorrow is hitting me… *tear*

Monday:

{Zija Cikka & I}

Our first family dinner was at Zija Cikka’s house in Qormi — Soppa Tal-Armla (Widow’s Soup), Gbejniet (Maltese cheese), & Gina’s super delish homemade chocolate cake! It was so fun finally catching up with my mom’s Maltese family!

Tuesday

Some good times in Gozo:

{Charlie & Paul at the Azure Window}

Paul & I at Ggantija Temple in Gozo!

Wednesday:

First stop — Ziju Zeppi’s farm!

{Paul, Zeppi & Maria Luisa}

{Paparazzi shot on the farm}

{View from the farm}

Dinner yesterday was at Joe & Sylvana’s house — delicious & entirely too much fun with two little monkeys running around:

Hosts <3.{Joe & Sylvana}

{Rosie & Joe}

{Princess Martina & I}

{Alex & Katrina}

[Falzon – Farrugia – Saliba Family]

I’ve had such an amazing trip thus far and am so incredibly sad to be leaving tomorrow…. I am in love with my family! I’m looking for a super cheap ticket to come back here for Christmas! Otherwise, I’ll be back in summer 2010 for Part II.

To see the whole Malta album, click here!

PS. PSS (you know who you are), I love you to the moon & am so thankful for the amazing trip you coordinated! You and your family are the most amazing people on the face of the planet!

Grown-Up Goodies

I recently ran across a blog post by my friend, M., who discussed the finality of divorce and the harsh realities of breakups. M’s post was poignant, well-written and rather thought-provoking. Moreover, it fit well into my life and spoke accurately to the nuances we discover in our relationships as we grow older. The realities of breakups have a double burden for me: I’ve recently gone through [am going through?] one, and a couple very close to my hearts (we’ll call them R. and G.) are going through a … situation, if you will. I hesitate to use the term “divorce” in describing their current status, although it is potentially waffling on the edge of loveless marriage and divorce.

My current situation is one that I can’t really categorize, if I’m being honest with myself. It’s an interesting situation and one that I’m sure could better be discussed on a less public forum. I have decided to discuss it in an open manner, however, knowing (hoping?) that others have gone through situations such as this before. My ex (although his name has been strewn throughout this blog in the past, we will refer to him as ‘Mac’ so as to not have to use his name over and over in this context) and I decided to go our separate ways shortly before my departure for London. Knowing that we would be separated by a 5500 mile flight and an 8-hour time difference, we decided to give ourselves room voluntarily, rather than learn the hard way that long-distance relationships are difficult, if not impossible for types like us. Well, three months later, I find myself still exchanging emails and phone calls with Mac on a daily basis. As one of my London friends so aptly noted, “breaking up didn’t break [us] up.” It’s true. Being that we were such good friends and were effectively part of each other’s families, separating was not a simple task. Breaking up effectively caused us to change our facebook statuses to single and open ourselves up to meeting new people, but it did nothing to hinder our connection. Although I much like having daily conversations with Mac (he has been my best friend for a number of years, after all), I question whether a bond like that is the healthy way to end a relationship [is it better to rip the band-aid off or peel it off slowly?].  Does talking daily lead to an inherent assumption that things will be “back to normal” one day? Additionally, although we’ve both openly discussed the fact that we’re able to date other people, has this connection hindered our abilities to move forward for fear of hurting our “friendship”? If I stepped outside of our situation for a moment, I would likely say yes. Now, you may be asking, “if you and Mac are best friends and clearly love each other, why not just be together?” ‘Tis a valid question, and an answer might be easy to come by if my life weren’t so complex (read: complicated):

I have this ridiculous desire to succeed in life. For me, success is defined by incredible education and the independence derived therein, not by number of babies that I can produce. Unfortunately, there is this career/life dichotomy that’s not easily reconciled in the real world. Typically, one takes precedence over the other. If I choose the career path (the path I’m currently on), the family/relationship component has to fall into place accordingly. If I choose the family/relationship path (the “alternate” path, if you will), then my career will be the component to fall into place. Sadly, I don’t want to have to choose. I  don’t feel that letting my career “fall into place” does justice to the time and effort I have put into my education. On another front, I don’t want to sacrifice a solid relationship and family ties for my career. Seeing as how I have to choose, though, it seems as though my career and prospects have taken precedence. I don’t want to live my life in a limited world that will cause resentment down the road. For this reason, in conjunction with the fact that I’m not entirely sure whether I will be pursuing a PhD or a career that could place me in a foreign country, I feel that staying with Mac does us both an injustice. It’s not fair to keep someone hanging on, not knowing whether or not you’ll ever return. Alternately, it’s not fair for me to return for a relationship and then resent him later on. In conclusion: Why didn’t anyone ever teach us that relationships are so complex?!

After all the hardships involved in my breakup after three years of dating, my thoughts trail back to my friends, R. & G. who are going through a separation after 35 years of marriage. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you know how difficult it is to part with someone with whom you share so many memories. When Mac & I broke up, there was the process of moving my stuff out and separating our “assets” (a Wii, Wii fit board, miscellaneous kitchen appliances, etc.) which I found a bit daunting and oddly final. When R. & G. separate [in the future], they’ll have to deal with the real task of dividing assets: a house, cars, money and kids. Not that the kids will be divided, seeing as how they’re grown up, but still… the thought of splitting with someone after so many years is heart-breaking. At what point do you realize that the person you thought was your perfect match is not so perfect anymore? And, upon coming to that realization, how long until you move from the “this isn’t working” stage to the “let’s get divorced” stage? If I’m having problems fully moving on after three years, how do you move on after thirty-five years?! Is it possible to find someone and build a new relationship knowing that no relationship will ever come close the vast amount of time you’ve already spent with this other person?

Through my relationship with Mac, and through looking at R. & G.’s relationship, I have learned something: Relationships can’t be defined as successful only if they end in marriage and happily ever after. Relationships, whether one year or fifty years can be successful in and of themselves, for what they are. My time with Mac was full of amazing memories, incredible adventures and a number of learning experiences. I have learned what is important to me, as a person, and I have learned what I find important in a partner. Whether or not Mac and I get back together in the future, I know that it’s something I can always look back on with a sense of accomplishment. After all, if you could meet Mac, you’d know that putting up with his stubborn ass for three years is quite the feat.

xoxo,

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Between writing formatives, finishing notes and figuring out life, there are very few reasons for me to take the time to write a second blog post in a single day, but this is definitely one of them! Since I know my dad looooooves reading my blog, I have to give a shout out:

Happy Birthday, Dad!

I wish I could be with you on your birthday, but I’m sending all of my love from London. I hope you have the most amazing birthday ever (as amazing it can be without me there, of course)! Thank you for being such an amazing force in my life and encouraging me each and every day.

[This is going to be odd for everyone except us!]

[Graduation]

[Easter]

[Nana’s Birthday Bash!]

[In SF at the Japanese Tea Garden before I left for London!]

[In Carmel for Tiff’s surprise party!]

Love you, dad!