Visa on the Way In, Relationship on the Way Out?


This weekend has been intense from start to finish. Friday, I was able to submit my visa application to the British Consulate in Los Angeles and I should be hearing back within 15 days, provided everything goes well! I think I included everything necessary to make the process go smoothly, although their stringent policies worry me slightly.

More importantly (important’s not the right word, but I can’t find the right words to use now), my three year relationship with my boyfriend ended. Normally, I wouldn’t post it on the internet for all to know, but somehow I find it cathartic to be able to discuss openly. I’m definitely (surprisingly) okay. Not that I’m okay with ending a three-year relationship so abruptly (and it was abrupt), but I am a lot more independent and strong than I had realized. It’s also been amazing to have the family and friends that I have surrounding me and helping me through everything. Talking and venting is what I really needed, and all of my close friends were quick to allow it. Although I am obviously sad about the situation, to put it lightly, I am really hoping that as two adults we’ll be able to maintain a friendship one day, seeing as how we were best friends for a number of years.  I tend to think that the hardest part about breaking up is losing your best friend, not necessarily losing your “boyfriend.” There are so many amazing memories created throughout the years, that it’s difficult to recall fond memories that he’s not  a part of.  Also, after such a long time, the relationship isn’t just about us anymore, not just two people, but rather about intertwined families. It’s difficult to know that breaking off a relationship with one person effectively means breaking off a relationship with his whole family (my second family). Although I realize that it’s possible to maintain a relationship with them, it’s definitely a lot harder.

In keeping with the optimistic mindset, I have also come to accept the reality that I’ll be moving overseas in 40ish days, and as hard as moving is for me, it’s probably equally hard for him and for our relationship. Although it’s difficult to have to let our relationship go now, perhaps it’s easier than having to deal with moving  and an ended relationship simultaneously. I’ve been trying to keep my mind busy with family, friends and working out, but I know at some point, it’s going to really hit me. Whilst moving all of my stuff out of our his place, I definitely felt that sensation of sadness wash over me, but I still haven’t fully digested the entirety of the situation. The loss of communication makes me more than sad, since I’ve lost my first line of conversation, of venting and of celebration, but I suppose that’s part of parting ways. All of the idiotic platitudes come to mind, “It’s better to have loved and lost…”, “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger…,” “There are always other fish in the sea,” blah, blah, blah. I wonder if that’s really true. Obviously there are other “fish in the sea,” but the thought of having to start a different relationship and build something similar with someone else is mind-boggling. It took three years to build what we had. How do people divorce after 25 years and move on? Obviously it’s possible, I guess I just need to accept the reality of it, and look to the future.

Love,

Signature Stamp - Shannon

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by alexdella2 on August 2, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    Hi doll,

    You know how I feel about this, and I am soooo proud of you! You have been SO strong and mature, and that is something a lot of people can’t say that they have done during tough breakups. You are completely right, the toughest thing about a break up is losing your best friend-but you have a great family and friends that will jump in and fill the void for you, myself included! :) Just know that in 40ish days (oh my god!), we are going to be on the most insane/crazy/fulfilling journey of our LIVES, and come back as completely different people! I <3 you and can not WAIT to start our travels around the world!!

    xxx (apparently they sign things like that in England? haha)

    AL

    Reply

    • Thank you! It’s awesome having such great friends. I can’t believe that we’re going to be moving in a little over a month! We’re totally starting a new life and it’s going to be such an amazing experience!

      PS. You’re right about the ‘xxx’. EVERY Brit EVER signs off that way! We’ll start practicing :)

      Reply

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